Sharing is caring: Powerful lessons we've learned from our guest bloggers (so far)

On overcoming the culture of fear that has done so much damage to individuals and the community.

Living in fear is essentially living the lie that tells you to hope for much less and avoid taking chances because you don’t deserve them. At this point, I can’t afford fear because it’s presence in my path isn’t just a stumbling block - it’s a deep ditch that I’d never come back from if I fell in, so I’m choosing to step wisely.

-Violet Kadzura

On having the consciousness of being black, celebrating it and thriving in it

Even though the horrendous manifestation of racism can make being Black feel like a laborious burden to carry, we must unite in solidarity to end racial and social injustice; And rather than consume the lies of people who misconstruct our stories, we must continue to tell our own....The world needs to know that we are still standing; still black, still proud.

-Tresell Davis

On the effect of hearing your parents say “I love you” when it comes to knowing your value

(Now that my sons have) reached the ages when I was crippled with such doubt about my importance, my value and worth, I see happiness, confidence and love radiating from my children. Now I see three words and all that they embody that I starved for as a child flow freely in my life as a woman, friend, and most importantly mother.

-Erica Hughes

On being called beautiful and why we all deserve it

I don’t like the fact that for many young black girls it has been a determining factor, in our black communities, whether you are given a chance or not. I don’t like that it has had so much power in who I am because I am more than my face and my physical body.

- Somikazi Tom

On overcoming other people’s opinions of our beauty and defining it for ourselves

The woman that I am is not defined by anyone’s standard of beauty. The woman that I am is one who is confident in her own skin, embraces her assets and flaws, and continues to live her life on her own terms.

-Torri Oats

On awakening our black pride by spitting out the lies society has told about us

To quote a Black man (Mr. Jesse Williams) who defines the awakening that I pray for our people to manifest, “What I’d like to see us do is to return to a space where it’s okay for folks to be proud and outwardly Black in public…” My Sistahs…don’t swallow the lies…YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!! 

- Dale Francis

On standing our ground by not staying in our lane

In life, there is a place and time to stay in your lane and I think as black women, we should not think we can do the bare minimum. Our self-worth, talents, and skills should be appreciated and we should stand up for ourselves and not stay in our lanes.

- Claire Bunbury

On the power of representation on television

Scandal showcased the power of Black audiences and how much we needed characters that were not stereotypes, characters to aspire to.

 - Phumuzile Mabasha

On #Blackgirlmagic

I’m thinking differently. I used to be afraid of shining too brightly, or being who I am and celebrating me. But now we have #BlackGirlMagic and it’s doing something to us. Such a powerful movement, so necessary.

On being enough

I won’t let the countless lies I’m told about who I’m supposed to be, continue to shape who I am.I can’t look for validation from a world that rejects me but capitalizes on my essence. I won’t further internalize where I’m told I fall short or fail to measure up.I will revel in the beauty, boldness and brilliance wrapped up in my existence as a black woman.I am more than enough.

- Crissi Ponder

On dating and not settling

Let’s stop the lie of the status quo when it comes to who we must date based on what we have accomplished and what we have, and that doesn’t mean you have to settle either.

- Naomi K. Bonman

Animatic Introduction: A Journey to Wokeness

Animatic

an·i·mat·ic

ˌanəˈmadik/

noun

noun: animatic; plural noun: animatics

            1      a preliminary version of a movie, produced by shooting successive sections of a storyboard and adding a soundtrack.

The No Lies Told Then (“NLTT”) team is always searching for ways to elevate this project from a blip to something bigger. How can we share pieces of the story a unique and exciting way? How can we facilitate a larger conversation about NLTT, supporting artists of color and the universal themes the film explores?

It was those questions the director and I were pondering during one of our “crazy idea” sessions. We knew a trailer was out of the question, so we gave ourselves permission to get really creative. Our brainstorming session ended with a vague promise to create something with colors and audio, and maybe a voiceover with lines from the script.

The next night, he called with a more concrete idea. It was a “picture this” moment: Central Park at the Alice in Wonderland statue, and the rabbit comes to life! It was captivating. As he conveyed his vision to me, I made mental notes; our “vague promise” morphed into the creation of an animated short. When we hung up, I got to work.

In effort to be economical, we searched for simplistic options like this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oO2-f-CgK0M. Or possibly this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBk3ynRbtsw. Those don't look too difficult or expensive, right?

Wrong. Polite rejection after polite rejection forced us to dive deeper down the black hole known as the internet to find an animator to fit our budget. Giving up was not an option.

Eventually, I discovered a website with a community of freelance animators called Wooshii. You post your project description and budget, and people pitch their ideas to you. Easy.

We received a few pitches, one of which went in the direction of horror, but a submission from a UK-based company, Fudge Animation really stood out.

After they read the script, I was hoping they would say, “This is great! We can do so much with the story in the style you want.” You probably know where this is going. Our vision, they said, was too ambitious for our budget and timeline, but they had an suggestion — what about a hand-drawn animatic? They had us at “hand-drawn”.

It was a fascinating collaboration. They would sketch versions of characters and we offered our input. They’d go back to the drawing board and return with a new version. We became a well-oiled machine. 

Everything went smoothly on the animation front, but the mistake we’d made in the process was asking Fudge hire and direct the voice talent. Folks, if you hire the wrong voice talent, it can change the entire tone and meaning of your story. Fudge nailed the visuals and sound effects, but without the director to guide the voice work, it didn’t quite come together.

We were faced with a decision: leave the animatic as delivered, or work with our own sound engineer and voice talent. We chose the latter.

Once we hired local voice talent, the director instructed them record the script in several tones. I was rewriting on the fly. The engineer was offering suggestions. It was fun until we had to listen to the raw audio files and decide which version of a line best conveyed the tone we wanted to achieve. 

Somehow, and I guess this is a testament to the symbiotic relationship the director and I have developed, we managed to land on basically the same audio files. The sound engineer added all the effects and vocal choices to the audio and after a couple months, we’d made an animatic!

I share this story with you to give you an inside look at the creation of the animatic. There were at least ten people who worked on this project at various stages. All of us dedicated time and in one way or another, money, because we believe in the work.

We are proud to present to you an animatic introducing Sandra, our protagonist, as she arrives at the first stop on her journey to woke-ness.

Stay in Your Lane

As black women there are many lies and myths that we are told about our womanhood and where we fit in society and this world.  I think the biggest lie I have ever been told is to “stay in my lane”. The term “stay in your lane” is telling someone to focus on their own life and not worry about someone else life, achievements, and failures. It is supposed to “check” those gossips, haters and those who are jealous and envious of you. However, the term can also be used to shut someone down so they should not reach for more, they should “stay in their lane” because they should not be so vocal, competitive or ambitious. I think that’s the biggest lie I have ever heard. It is misleading and allows people to settle when they have the skills and abilities to do well in their lives.

Last year, I found myself working in a company that had 3 black people and it was a ticking time bomb. It had been some time since I was employed so I was just happy to be there. I was happy when I realized that I was getting paid more than I expected. I was happy that my 3-month review was a success and they had decided to hire me full time. The only problem was as a foreigner I needed a work permit. My boss at the time agreed to help with the permit, and I even went and got a police clearance. I was ready to go home and get this work permit. I was so happy that something was going right for once. It had been 3 years since I had graduated and I just was not able to get full-time employment. Unemployment chipped away at my ego and self-esteem. I just did not understand where I was getting it wrong. I mean I had 2 degrees and I was extremely educated. 

As time went on, the company began to unravel and the turnover was very high. In one month, 4 people left and team’s morale was low. My line manager and I had issues and she almost got me fired which would have been the worst thing ever and absolutely embarrassing. How would I explain that to my parents? I decided to just play the game and be the perfect employee. I would get to work before everyone and leave after everyone. This strategy worked because I ended up winning employee of the month. I was on cloud 9, but to my surprise and relief, my line manager was leaving to pursue other opportunities.  Two weeks after my line manager had left, I started feeling dissatisfied with my job. I was being completely sidelined and doing work that was beneath my position. 

One spring morning, my boss at the time called me into the boardroom with another colleague and told me that she had promoted me from Public Relations Assistant to Junior Account Manager. I was over the moon and I was going to be running an account all by myself. All the hard work and waiting had finally led to something substantial. My boss agreed that she was going help more intensely with the work permit. In that moment, I felt like I had won the lottery but it was definitely too good to be true. 

First, my boss was being wishy-washy about when I could leave to get the work permit. Then she kept changing the dates and then claimed that I needed to stay longer than initially agreed upon. In a bold move, I said if I had to stay longer could I please have a pay increase that would go well with the law. She agreed and when I sent her the email with the amount that I thought was suitable. She began lying and trying to use the work permit against me. The situation became so ridiculous that she made me meet her husband who was at times the part-time HR manager. It was crazy now that I think about it. I explained to her husband that I needed to move forward in my career and she had promoted me and it is my right to have a pay increase and the work permit. He decided that I should go back to my home country and get the work permit. She was not in this particular meeting.

After I spoke to her husband and the so-called HR manager, my boss behaved as if everything was fine but she was secretly scheming and plotting. She started giving me a tremendous amount of work even though I was already very busy. It dawned on me that she was trying to illustrate that I was incompetent. This tactic is used by white people and men to show that people of color and women are not good enough for the job.  I was already doing my work and helping other senior account managers, so obviously I would be overwhelmed. Her treatment became so bad that she blamed me for other people’s work. She said that she wanted to look through my work. It was all strange and surreal because 2 weeks earlier she was praising my work ethic and results.

On a fateful Thursday, everything came to head because she was stressed with a launch that was coming up and took it out on me. She claimed that I am not stressed which is dismissive and cold. I think as humans we are allowed to feel what we feel. I found myself in tears. Then after the launch, she again blamed me for everything and someone else work. I was shattered because I had worked so hard and been up since 5 am just to get everything right. Even my other colleagues came to my defense. We later had a meeting and she accused my work as “glaringly bad”. I had a panic attack which she thought I was faking. It was all a mess.

To cut a long story short, I quit the following week to her surprise. I was ashamed of quitting because my parents did not raise a quitter but I felt so disrespected by her. What made matters worse is that she went and told other colleagues that I had lied about having a work permit and randomly asked for a promotion. To be kind let’s just say she has a selective memory.

Going back to what we spoke about staying in your lane, my boss did not expect me to know my rights and to stand up for myself. She expected me to take the promotion without paying me for it. That is exploitation she does in her company. She purposely hires young people so she can underpay them but expects a high standard of work, it’s a vicious cycle at that company. My thing is, I needed to move forward in my career, and I should be paid accordingly for the work I put in. I am happy that I did not stay in my lane because I would be taken advantage of and not know my worth. I think she was even shocked that this timid Black girl would not put up with her BS.  I think I may have even earned a bit of her respect.

In life, there is a place and time to stay in your lane and I think as black women, we should not think we can do the bare minimum. Our self-worth, talents, and skills should be appreciated and we should stand up for ourselves and not stay in our lanes. Society takes advantage of the notion that we are just happy to have that job, be his girlfriend, or just be earning a small amount of money. I think that is trash. You are a queen and if you want that job and have worked hard for it, DON’T STAY IN YOUR LANE.

It’s Handled: Thoughts on the End of Scandal by Phumuzile Mabasha

When I was 21, which was some time ago, my friend Pam and I were looking for some new shows to watch. We were recommended to watch HBO’s Girls and ABC’s Scandal. At the time I was wary to watch anything that involved Shonda Rhimes. I did give Scandal a try but I was not impressed. Girls on the other hand, was such an insane show that I continued watching till it ended this past April.

A year later, my friends encouraged me to watch Scandal again. Begrudgingly I did, and I surprisingly fell head over heels in love with it. The first 2 seasons of Scandal were insane, mind-blowing and I was thoroughly entertained. It was unrealistic at times, but it was something I had never seen on TV. I was hooked and could not wait for the third season. I finally found a Shonda Rhimes show that didn’t irritate me, and I liked Olivia.

I spoke too soon! As I continued watching the show it became frustrating. The Olitz relationship was not fun to watch at times because he treated her so badly. Then Papa Pope came into the mix and there were too many monologues. I felt as if I was watching a Shakespearean play. For 5 seasons I soldiered on and watched Scandal. There were times when it was great but times when it was so insufferable.  The truth of the matter is, there is so much TV out there that something had to give. I decided to end my love-hate relationship with Scandal, but especially my love-hate relationship with Olivia Pope. She became a character that constantly disappointed me.

That being said, I will not deny the impact that Scandal has had on TV in the 21st century. Scandal showed that there was a serious need for lead Black female roles. Scandal was annoying, frustrating, entertaining yet groundbreaking because it began the golden age of Black TV and Film. Olivia Pope was the first black female lead character on network television since 1974. Scandal began in 2012.  As much as I do not like Olivia Pope she was a character that many girls my age had never seen. She was not a slave or a baby mama or the best friend. Yes, there was Joan on Girlfriends but she wasn’t Olivia Pope. Olivia is a lawyer, college educated women, she owns her own business, she looks great in power suits and she’s a bad ass. Other than the whole side piece debacle with Fitz , Olivia is a woman that Black women needed to see and hear.

She’s a character that continued to break the stereotype of how Black women were represented on TV and in the media. When I would see Olivia Pope come and dominate the scene I felt empowered. I was in awe of her power, intelligence and confidence. It was nice to see and it was encouraging.  I loved that she was a powerhouse who was revered in Washington. As much as Papa Pope was annoying, he illustrated the plight that Black people (especially Black women) face to be valued and respected. Papa Pope has said many profound and crazy things. He was aware of who he was in America and who Olivia was in America, a BLACK PERSON. My favorite quote and I think one of the most relatable things he ever said was when he told Oliva that she has to be “Twice as good as them to get half of what they have.”

Scandal showcased the power of Black audiences and how much we needed characters that were not stereotypes, characters to aspire to. I respect Shonda Rhimes for allowing Olivia to be Black. Scandal’s success opened the doors for characters such as Cookie Lyon, Mary Jane Paul, Annalise Keating, Issa Dee and Rainbow Johnson. Olivia Pope and Scandal illustrated that there is more to Black Women than the stereotype or caricature. It is now great to see many female-led Black shows such as How to Get Away with Murder, Insecure, Greenleaf, Queen Sugar and Shots Fired that reject the stereotype. It is even better to see that this has spilled over into film with movies such as Hidden Figures which was led by a Black female cast.

Scandal also illustrated the power of choice with Olivia and the other female characters especially Mellie and Abby.  These characters at times chose work over family and motherhood, and seemed content with their decisions. This was illustrated with Olivia unapologetically having an abortion in season 5. Mellie illustrated this with her ambition and going after what she wanted and that was becoming the 1st female President. Even Susan was ambitious and likable, which I loved. The women were not afraid to get their hands dirty which was great. I know a lot of people liked how the show humanized Mellie with her father–in-law raping her but I actually liked her the way she was. Mellie was one of the few characters on the show who was unapologetic about her decisions, sacrifices, resentment and ambition. It was nice to see because women are made to apologize for going after what they want. I also loved how Mellie told her daughter that women are judged differently especially in the public and should be careful about their choices.

I loved the fact that the writers’ wrote Scandal in a way that women knew they living in a man’s world and had to adapt. Mellie used her position as First lady to her advantage, Olivia used her body and influence over Fitz and Jake to get her way, and Abby as Press Secretary understood that she can’t be involved in any scandals or drama because it would overshadow her position. I particularly liked Abby telling Leo that women are judged on so many things before we even open our mouths. Women are judged on their motherhood, appearance, and choices more than men. It is hard for women to be taken seriously in male-dominated fields.

I am overjoyed with the end of Scandal next year but cannot and will not discredit the doors it opened. It was to see stories of a Black woman that was more than the stereotype.  As ridiculous as Scandal became, it gave a fresh take on Black womanhood. Scandal also addressed the complexities of living in a man’s world and I loved it for that.

Freedom

When your dream is happening and you’re in the middle of a new reality, does your success merely mask the emptiness?

I always thought “making it” would mean financial freedom. No more thinking twice about buying a necessity. No more praying your credit card isn’t rejected.

I thought my book deal would bring fame and fortune and finally -- freedom. And while I was healthy physically, there was something missing. I couldn’t put a name to it or identify its source.

Then, there was the guilt. I’d achieved a certain level of success, but what was my responsibility to my community? To my family? To myself?

Why was I grappling with so many questions? I was supposed to be able to sit at my desk all day, writing real stories while I drank too much coffee. Instead, I had people pulling at me from all directions, making all kinds of demands. And they were demands because if I didn’t do something for somebody, I was a “sellout” or I “forgot where I came from”. Or, I had to show up someplace to please someone who could write a check.

I was walking through life faking it. I did everything with a smile and I didn’t complain once. I had to be likeable. Who’d buy my books if they didn’t like me?

My freedom came at the price of me. I gave everyone a great show and I was who I needed to be. The truth is you can only live that way for so long before the stench of the rot is too bad and you’re forced to deal with it.